Wednesday, November 01, 2006

They Always Get Their Man... Unless He Runs

When did cops become such over-sensitive crybabies?
Police Chief Paul Goward was tired of looking around his department and seeing blubber hanging over the belts of some of his officers. So he sent out a memo exhorting the "jelly bellies" to shape up.

In the end, the department lost 190 pounds -- all of them belonging to Goward. He was forced out as chief because some of his officers took offense at the memo.

The October 11 memo bruised feelings on the 80-member force, drew at least one anonymous letter of complaint from officers about the chief's management style and made his department the butt of jokes about fat cops and doughnuts.
Boo Hoo! The mean ol' police chief called them jelly bellies and hurt morale. Perhaps we shouldn't be too harsh. They are the police after all, and we do owe them our gratitude for the job they do. They just need some support.

Like a truss.

What a bunch of babies. Is it really that hard to cut down from 5000 calories? Or perhaps lift more than 12 fl oz. at a time?

It sounds like Winter Haven, FL is the place to commit crime. All you'd have to do to get away is walk at a fast pace. Or climb a flight of stairs.

(hat tip to Anne for pointing this one out)