Friday, December 08, 2006

Holy Shit!

Some freaky stuff happened in downtown Chicago. Total chaos.

I work across the street from that building and I am telling you it was total pandemoneum. I'll write more tomorrow and have a low quality camera picture or two.

UPDATE: OK, the phone pics did not turn out well. Maybe I should carry my Canon for when stuff like this happens.

Now all the reports I have read report this guy bringing a gun, knife and hammer as weapons. Now, the knife I can understand as a kind of backup for when you run out of bullets. But, a hammer?

Thursday, December 07, 2006

How Can They Be So Heartless?

So your prison sentence is "too hard"? Well, you fat fuck, you should have thought about that before you help beat a homeless man to death.

Cry me a river, you slope browed, fecal brained asshat.
One of the teenagers responsible for beating a Holly Hill homeless man to death asked a judge to reduce his 22-year prison sentence Monday. Warren Messner and three other teens pled guilty to killing the man because they were bored, but Messner said prison is too hard.
Bored? When you're bored you play video games. You go to a movie. You read a book. When you're a bored, sadistic sociopath I guess you kill people.

This piece of shit is learning that society will hold you responsible for your actions. Period. Society doesn't care if he fell in with a bad crowd. No one held a gun to his head and forced him to take another person's life.

Mom doesn't quite seem to get it.
Messner's parents broke down at the denial. His mother said it's unfair, that her son fell in with a bad crowd and prison is killing him.

"He's not getting the mental health, the schooling. He's not getting anything, anything but locked in a cell all day long," Lori Messner said.
If it does kill him, she'll be the only one to shed a tear. Some people seem to be under the impression that the primary goal of a prison is rehabilitation. Bullshit. For centuries the reason for prison is that same as it is now. It is, in fact, to punish criminals.

Yes, there are rehabilitation programs in prisons. But you have to earn them. They are not a right, nor are they the primary mission of prisons. The mission of a prison is twofold. One is to deprive the convicted of freedom. The second, which happily coincides with the first, is to remove the convicted from society as whole. This boy has been excised from the public like the cancer he is.

Fair has nothing to do with it. If things were fair, that human being he helped execute would be alive today.

A Father's Death

I have been following this story since the family was first reported missing Thanksgiving weekend.
When they were rescued, Kim's family told authorities that he struck out on Saturday to find help, wearing tennis shoes, pants and a heavy coat, but no hat. His family said he had some outdoor experience, and authorities said he was carrying two lighters.

He had a specific plan: He would leave early Saturday morning, go back the way the family came, and if he couldn't find anyone, he would return in a few hours. Just before 8 a.m. Saturday, his family said, he left to carry it out.

I will admit, I was pleasantly surprised when I found out the mother and two daughters were alive and actually in good condition after 9 days. Both James' and Kati's cool heads managed to get Kati and her daughters through a harrowing ordeal virtually unscathed.

James however did not. He traveled an extraordinary amount of distance in mountainous terrain, attempting to locate help. I'm sure after being stranded for 9 days, he felt there was no choice. When he was found, he had a note clenched in his hand asking for help for his wife and children. He died trying to save those he loved.

The saddest part of his death, however, is what was most likely going through his mind at the end. He never knew that his family had been rescued and were all well. He died thinking he had failed his family.

But never once did he fail them. His actions, along with his wife's, during the entire ordeal ensured the survival of Kati and the children.

While he may have died despairing, he will not be remembered that way. He will be remembered as a man with a fierce love for his family and a determination to do whatever it took to save them.

He was a son, and a husband, and a father.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Technology Tuesday

Dear Santa,

I've been a... relatively good boy all year.

Please send me:

One of these.

And one of these.

Oh, and one of these, as well.

And I better get them, fat man. Or do you want Mrs. Claus to hear about the after-Christmas party at Scores, Chicago. Or the special present you gave to Brandi-with-an-"i"?

Monday, December 04, 2006

November Chippies

The November Chippy Awards

It's time for the November Chippy Awards. It the award presented to those whom I'd most like to feed feet first into a wood chipper. While all nominees are worthy of mulching, only one can be awarded the Golden Bag of Sawdust and go directly to the head of the line.

Again, thanks must go forth to my research team consisting of Anne. Her tireless efforts make these awards possible.

As usual, we start with the Honorable Mentions. While not deserving of the wood chipper treatment, they are but a hair's breadth away from turning into a lawn bag of meat and bone chips.

  • For the 1,002nd Use Of Duct Tape Award, we have this loving mother. She gets to have her child bearing organs scooped out using a rusty spoon.
  • For the Most Cynical Taking Advantage Of A Charity, this family is sure to turn any stomach. They win the dubious prize of having their home demolished and being relocated to a cardboard box in Crack Alley.
  • For the Not Exactly How Tom Sawyer Would Have Avoided Chores Award, there's this little maladjusted firebug. She gets to whitewash all the fences in the state of Indiana.
  • For the Start 'Em Young Award, here's this aunt, who's a credit to any family of drug dealers. She gets an accupuncture treatment utilizing used hypodermic needles.

Now on to the non-winning nominees. This does not mean that they won't get added to the compost pile. They just have to wait their turn.

For Most Heinous Use Of A Child As A Percussion Instrument.
"She beat that little boy with a belt and a pipe ... and she left him to die and then she hid the body. There is no doubt she is a child killer," Currie said.

King wept as she testified Thursday that Ahmad's death was an accident. She told jurors she lost control while spanking him. When she realized he was dead, King said she panicked, hid his body and told police he had been abducted.

For The Most Disgusting Use Of The Internet.
A man who was sexually abusing a young girl in his home was arrested after he transmitted images of the assault via the Internet to an undercover detective, police said Thursday.

The girl, a preschooler, was rescued two hours later in what Toronto police's child exploitation unit said was its first case of observing a live assault.

For recognition of Toronto's Child Exploitation Section, and specifically Detective Krawczyck, he shall be permitted to push the button when this waste of protoplasm is fed into the hopper.

For the This Shit Just Wants To Make Me Cry Award.
Detectives investigating the death of an 8-year-old boy say his mother probably tortured him for more than a year in a dark dungeon of a bedroom before he swallowed household cleaner last week and died.

Richmond detectives arrested Teresa Moses, 23, on suspicion of murder, torture and child endangerment Friday night after staff at Kaiser Permanente Medical Center called police about the death.

Welts and bruises in various stages of healing covered Raijon Daniels' body. The injuries, officials said, told a long story of abuse: rope marks on his limbs, chemical burns, bed sores.

Normally, this diseased, amoral fuck would win hands down. Since it was a photo-finish this month, I'll give her the rare Silver Bag Of Sawdust. She gets to be chopped and shredded immediately after November's winner. But first she gets fed a cocktail of Lysol and Sno-Bowl.

The winner of The Golden Bag Of Sawdust.

The members of the 101st Airborne responsible for the rape and killings of an Iraqi family. Yes, the same people who are supposed to protect the weak and fight for freedom. To me, this makes it a doubly hideous betrayal of trust.
The group is accused of raping the girl and burning her body to conceal their crimes, then killing the girl's father, mother and six-year-old sister. After entering his plea Wednesday, Barker gave the court a vivid account of the events.

Barker said he and the others were drinking and playing cards while they manned a traffic checkpoint.

Green brought up the idea of raping the girl and killing her family, he said.

They raped a 14 year old girl in front of her family. These fucks killed a 6 year old. I can't begin to imagine the sheer terror this family endured before they were killed.

Just turning them into mulch is not enough. For this month's winner, more is necessary. They need to be knee-capped with a gun and have the wounds bandaged in raw sewage. Only until the wounds fester and gangrene is beginning to overcome their bodies will they be fed (slowly) into the wood chipper.