Whoops!

An editorial about Foleygate Masturgate uses what I would consider an... unfortunate choice of words.

Hastert and Boehner need to get on the same page or Republican troubles will continue to mount.

I salute the crack editorial staff at The Hill for letting this stay in the final piece.

(via Volokh Conspiracy)

Stop! Or I'll Yell Stop, Again!

Thank God for the UN.

The U.N. Security Council on Friday urged North Korea not to carry out a planned nuclear-weapon test and warned Pyongyang of unspecified consequences if it did.

...

It warned North Korea that a nuclear test would lead to further unspecified Security Council action "consistent with its responsibility under the Charter of the United Nations."

Unspecified Consequences. How... vague. In international-diplomacy-speak I think that means "nothing".

North Korea is once again engaging in empty sabre rattling. Seriously, do they truly think their nuclear capabilities would stop anyone pounding them in the dust? Percision bomb them from high altitude, and take over the country by actually feeding it's people. I don't think there would be much insurgent action. I have yet to meet anyone who is violently opposed to eating real food.

Even China is starting to edge away from North Korea like a friend who has discovered exactly where that strange smell is coming from.

It seems everytime the world is ignoring them they make the threat of Nuclear Anihilation. Kinda of like the worlds' biggest "Look at me! Look at me! I'm relevant!" Unfortunately for the largely innocent and oppressed people of North Korea, it will be North Korea that gets anhiliated. By their own devices if their track record with technology is any indication. Their last message to the world will probably be "Whoops!"

That's OK, I'll Just Have a Glass of Water

Really.

I Have *Got* To Get a Government Job

Sounds like there's not a whole lot of work pressure at the Dept of the Interior.

Computer-use logs revealed more than 4,732 entries relating to sexually explicit Web sites and gambling sites. Some computers accessed sex sites for 30 to 60 minutes during the test period.

Department of the Interior. Don't they deal with parks and Jack Abramoff Native Americans?

Despite these ongoing issues, the department is sensitive to Internet misuse, having had several employees convicted in the past for various offenses, including possession of child pornography. The department has appropriate-use policies in place and conducts regular training, although it does not have a system[-]wide monitor or blocking system yet. Some bureaus within the department do use such tools, and there are plans to provide them department[-]wide.

Well, policies are a first step. But for them to be effective, they need to be enforced. Here's a case where a centralized security management system would come in handy. All the information from various monitoring and security tools gets aggregated in one place. With the correct data mining techniques you would be surpirsed and the kind of information and conclusions that can be pulled.

I don't see this improving any time soon. They got an "F" on the government's security audit in 2005 (so did Homeland Security -- yikes!). Unfortunately, I have a feeling they'll concentrate on only the perimeter, as most people mistakenly do. Not a bad thing, but we like to call that crunchy on the outside -- chewy in the middle in my business.

Regardless, they have these slope-brow, lazy-ass freaks playing games and wanking to porn when they should be doing their job. It sounds a lot like economic agency models (PDF file) at work. (via Prof. Bainbridge's article on Casino Dealers). It looks like there's no incentive here to do real work. Nor much punishment to correct behavior (unless you download child-porn -- people tend to get worked up over that). Most government employees get paid no matter what their level of performance.

Perhaps I should get off my high horse. Because, I am supposed to be... uh... working right now.

File Under: Well, Duh

From Reuters:

Research from car insurer More Than found one in five drivers admit to concentrating behind the wheel less than 75 percent of the time, with 1.2 million thinking mostly about sex.

I don't think is restricted to just during drive time.

Harry Potter and the Parents of Close Minded Idiocy

Witch Hunt in Ga.

ATLANTA — A suburban county that sparked a public outcry when its libraries temporarily eliminated funding for Spanish-language fiction is now being asked to ban Harry Potter books from its schools.

Laura Mallory, a mother of four, told a hearing officer for the Gwinnett County Board of Education on Tuesday that the popular fiction series is an "evil" attempt to indoctrinate children in the Wicca religion.

Yes, because books that show the importance of friendship, perseverance in the face of adversity, and self-reliance are evil. So is a book that is actually encouraging children to read. Dear Lord, they may want to read other books. And start to become independent thinkers.

The horror!

I think the course of action is clear. We must ban any book that encourages alternative viewpoints. Any book which does not support our common values (as defined by me and other qualified persons). In fact just to be safe, we better all burn those contrary books before they poison anybody else's mind.

Asshats.

Skank Fight!

Paris Hilton on her back from punch, not from presence of video camera.

Jihad II - Electric Boogaloo

I think they're missing the point.

The latest criticism of Islam being a violent religion, which was sparked by incendiary comments made by Pope Benedict XVI, has caused internet jihadis to launch a new website called Electronic Jihad, located at http://www.al-jinan.org. The purpose of the website is to help organize an electronic jihad against websites that insult Islam and Islamic sacred figures. The site has been well publicized on more established jihadi websites. Jihadi forums are posting quotes from the Quran in order to encourage and convince jihadis and regular Muslims of their duty to engage in electronic jihad and to attack anti-Islamic sites in order to shut them down.

This is violence of a different sort. Until Muslims stop reacting this way to every viewpoint that doesn't fit in with their dogma, they are doing nothing but reinforcing the view that Islam is a reactionary, violent, hate-filled religion. The inability to deal with criticism or even outright hostility in a constructive manner is a sign of weakness not strength. Striking out at anyone even the least bit critical of Islam is a downward spiral.

Violence is the last resort of the civilized; the first for barbarians. And remember..

Eventually, someone with a bigger stick comes around an stomps you into the ground.

Technology Tuesday

Open Sesame! (via Schneier on Security)

William Talcott, a prominent San Francisco poet with dual Irish citizenship, had fans all over the world. But when he died in June of bone marrow cancer, his daughter couldn't notify most of his contacts because his e-mail account--and the online address book he used--was locked up.

Talcott, 69, a friend of beatnik Neal Cassady, apparently took his password to the grave.

I'm a little divided on this one. I have a lot of things locked up (email, online accounts, encrypted USB drives, finances) and while for some things it would be easier if access was granted when I shrug off this mortal coil, there are others I don't want anyone to see --especially family members.

Some kind of third party escrow service could work here. Someone to hold passwords, pass-phrases, and encryption keys in trust and surrendering them according to the dictates in the will (or next of kin if no will exists).

Crazy Like A Fox!

George Clooney has outlined his plan for dealing with paparazzi.

"I want to spend every single night for three months going out with a different famous actress. You know, Halle Berry one night, Salma Hayek the next, and then walk on the beach holding hands with Leonardo DiCaprio.

"People would still buy the magazines, they'd still buy the pictures, but they would always go, `I don't know if these guys were putting us on or not.'"

The fiend! How can anyone come up with a plan so diabolical. So subtle. So... stupid. This is the stupidest thing I have ever heard in the long history of stupid. This is something a 6th or 7th grader would come up with. I'm surprised his quote didn't end with a lot of muffled giggling.

Loon.

The title of the article is priceless in its irony: George Clooney Wants to Outwit Paparazzi. This should be interesting, since both combantants would be fighting unarmed.

Clooney's agents should just 'fess up. He got hit on the head years ago and keeps chewing trough the restraints to release inane PR statements.

Personally, when it comes to dealing with the paparazzi, I like this strategy better.

Double O - Bad Ass!

Oh hell ya!

I just got done watching this trailer, and let me say one thing:

Oh please, oh please, oh please, let this not suck.

Ever since Golden Eye, I wanted an edgier, darker James Bond. Golden Eye hinted at it. But alas, the Brosnan Bond slid into the surfacey fluff all the Bonds had (except for Lazenby in On Her Majesty's Secret Service). Please let this Bond be the merciless tool of the state, a container of a cold, dark rage held barely in check. Please let this Bond be Ian Flemming's and not EON Production's.

I don't know who Daniel Craig is, but he looks (at least in the promo photos) like more of a thug than the previous Bonds. Someone who will smile in your eyes while pulling the trigger.

Let it be true. Let it be the Bond I've always wanted to see --less gadgets, more pathos.

Sp1ter Boi..er.. Girl

I'm definitely not an Avril fan, but you can't help but admire this. (The spitting, not the apology)

According to reports, Lavigne spat at photographers in two separate incidents last week. Lavigne apologized for her "behavior with the paparazzi."

However, her apology, posted on her Web site, indicated she 'meant no offense" to her fans, not the paparazzi. She said she will always go out of her way for fans.

I'm gald the apology was for your fans and not the paparazzi. Never apologize to these parasites. These scum are the scrapings from the bottom of the barrel that is modern journalism. If I had a group of people constantly following me, shoving cameras in my face, and invading every aspect of my life you can be sure spitting would be the least I would do.

I would probably go all Sean Penn on them.

Look Into My Evolved Eyes

Here we go again...

Proponents of "intelligent design" in the United States are waging a war against teaching science as scientists understand it. Over the past year alone, efforts to incorporate creationist language or undermine evolution in science classrooms at public schools have emerged in at least 15 states, according to the National Center for Science Education. And an independent education foundation has concluded that science-teaching standards in 10 states fail to address evolution in a scientifically sound way. Through changes in standards and curriculum, these efforts urge students to doubt evolution -- the cornerstone principle of biology, one on which there is no serious scientific debate.

Repeat after me: Intelligent Design is not a scientific theory. It belongs in a comparative religion or philosophy class. ID relies on an axiom that is fundamentally untestable. No test can be designed to prove or disprove the existence of a Primal Cause, be it God or ET. Beyond the heavens opening up with angelic choir, or a visit from an alien (they better have damn good lab notes to back up their claims), ID is an unsupportable hypothesis from a scientific standpoint.

This is not a war of religion against science. The two have thrived together for centuries. Nor is it a struggle of believers against godless materialists; many believers practice science and find inspiration for it from their faith. It is a battle between religious dogma cloaked as science and open inquiry that leads to new knowledge and understanding of the natural world.

The notion of intelligent design is clever; it has a certain philosophical appeal. The evolution of a human eye from a series of random mutations, for example, is indeed difficult to understand; the notion of an intelligent creator solves such problems, and feeds our spiritual needs. But it distracts us from learning what is scientifically testable and reduces students' will to probe the natural world.

Oh, for Christ's sake! That lame "the eyeball could not possibly be a result of evolution" argument. Of all the arguments these... alternative scientists could make, this one is the stupidest. No engineer would ever design a light sensitive organ with the structure of the eyeball (except for maybe an octopus eye -- that one is pretty damn cool). Hell, there's a blind spot smack dab in the middle of our field of vision. That's because the optic nerve is attached on the inside of the eye as opposed to the back. The eyeball is a poorly designed organ, but its structure makes perfect sense if you look at it as an organ that has evolved from a cluster of light sensitive neurons. Difficult to understand does not mean impossible to understand. Well, perhaps in the IDers case it is impossible to understand, since a foundation of basic biological science, which they seem unwilling to acknowledge, is necessary.

If the US wants to remain competitive in the world of pharmacology, medicine, genetics, --hell, anything related to biology, we need to stop producing scientific imbeciles in this country. Trying to inject Intelligent Design (which is Creationism playing dress-up) into a science class or downplaying the importance of evolution in biology class is ignorant and irresponsible.

We Are A Non-Violent, Peaceful Religion...

...and I'll kill you if you say otherwise.

PARIS, Sept 29, 2006 (AFP) - French anti-terrorism authorities Friday opened an inquiry into death threats against a philosophy teacher who has been forced into hiding over a newspaper column attacking Islam, legal officials said.

Robert Redeker, 52, is receiving round-the-clock police protection and changing addresses every two days, after publishing an article describing the Koran as a "book of extraordinary violence" and Islam as "a religion which... exalts violence and hate".

What? I can't believe it! He's being threatened by expressing his opinion of a religion of brotherly-love? Say it ain't so!

Incidentally, the Islamo-Fascists are doing splendid job of supporting his thesis.

Seriously, who's surprised by this. These murderers of men, women, and children have learned, time and time again, that threats and acts of violence work. Well, they work in Europe, mostly. But, I do notice that Redeker has not retracted his statement. Perhaps winds of change are going to sweep across the Continent. But I doubt it.

Interviewed over the telephone from a safe house by Europe 1 radio Friday, he said that "the education ministry has not even contacted me, has not deigned to get in touch to see if I need any help."

On Thursday Education Minister Gilles de Robien expressed "solidarity" with the teacher, but also warned that "a state employee must show prudence and moderation in all circumstances."

Redeker said that "if Robien is correct, then we would never have had any intellectual life in France. The function of politics is not tell us what we are allowed to think, but to defend our freedom to think and speak out."

Let me be the first to invite Redeker to the US. It sounds like he would fit right in. Whatever else, we all need more people like Redeker. The more we, as a culture, stand up to this hateful death-cult, the less power they have. It will be painful, and at times violent, but capitulation is worse.

You know if Islam follows the same time line of growth and change that the Catholic church did, I'd say we should see a Martin Luther style reformer any time now. Of course, once he makes himself known he'll have his skull crushed by a rock wielded by one of those "peaceful" adherents of the faith.

Fox, Meet Henhouse

Ok, I am seriously creeped out by this.

Six-term Rep. Mark Foley (R-Fla.) resigned yesterday amid reports that he had sent sexually explicit Internet messages to at least one underage male former page.

Um, correct me if I'm wrong but wasn't he the co-chair of the anti-child abuse, anti child pronography committee, or something? You would think he would avoid IM sessions like this: (Maf54 is Foley, Xxxxxxx is a 16 yr old Congressional page).

Maf54 (7:37:27 PM): how my favorite young stud doing

Xxxxxxxxx (7:37:46 PM): tired and sore

Xxxxxxxxx (7:37:52 PM): i didnt no waltzing could make you sore

Maf54 (7:38:04 PM): from what

Xxxxxxxxx (7:38:34 PM): what do you mean from what

Xxxxxxxxx (7:38:42 PM): from waltzing…im sore from waltzing

Maf54 (7:39:32 PM): tahts good

Maf54 (7:39:32 PM): you need a massage

Oh then there's this little exchange:

Xxxxxxxxx (7:41:57 PM): ugh tomorrow i have the first day of lacrosse practice

Maf54 (7:42:27 PM): love to watch that

Maf54 (7:42:33 PM): those great legs running

It gets worse from there. It swerves into masturbation techniques and particular fetishes. I swear, I had to scrub my eyes out with steel wool after reading that.

Do these people have a special "stupid" chip installed when they're in Congress? Of course, the same can be said for the people who elect them. I mean, we have someone who has accepted bribes, a person who abandons someone in a sinking car, etc... and We. Keep. Electing. Them.

And people wonder why I refuse to declare myself Republican or Democrat.

Now Make It 20 Stories Tall

I've got to get one of these!

You know... in case a giant rubberized monster attacks Chicago.

1.2 Jigawatts!

This is one of the coolest pictures ever!

"I hit the button … and there was nothing. I hit the button again … and nothing. On about the fourth attempt I hit the button again and I saw this lightning and heard the thunder.

"It was like a crack. The next thing I was about two metres in the air - it scared the hell out of me."

I pretty sure that's not all it scared out of him...

Sometimes Life Just Sucks

Last night as I was heading home, I stopped in the Food Court of the the train station and spent the last bit of cash I had on me for a soda. Almost immediately after that, I was approached by a young man with a mousy looking woman in her late teens behind him. My sheilds went up and I was ready to repel all boarders.

Typically, the homeless are a bold lot in Chicago. They walk up to you and, practically violating you personal space, aggressively ask for money and/or cigarettes. Typically, they are wearing scowls and snarl the request out. Some times it's not even a request. It's a demand for money or smokes. I have absolutely no problem refusing these types of people. I thought I was going to have to do the dance again.

But I was wrong.

This man did ask for money. But he was very polite and used the word "sir". I regretfully, to my surprise, had to inform him that I had just bought this soda with the last of the cash I had on me. Then he surprised me.

I had expected him to give me a half perfunctory "thanks, anyway" while his eyes turned cold and calculating as he sized up the others in the Food Court. But it didn't play out as I expected. He said they really weren't looking for money. They just wanted something to eat and could I please buy them something... Anything. All the while the girl was looking on with half realized flicker of hope in her eyes. And misery. And above all, hunger.

Damn.

Usually when I plan on just heading to work and then home, I bring what I call Wallet-Lite. Just my IDs, insurance cards (in case I get creamed by Chi-town's insane taxi drivers), and a credit card. I leave my check card and other credit cards at home. Today was one of those days. And to top it off, I forgot to swap credit cards -- the one in my wallet was maxed.

Last night I saw hope die in their eyes and despair settle like a well worn cloak over both of them. I am sure I was not the first person they approached for food. And still they were polite and thanked me for my time.

I don't think there are many times when I have felt as low as I did then.

I couldn't finish my dinner that night. Everything tasted like ashes as I could not get them out of my head. Children (because that's what they were - no older than 18 or 19) should not look so old and defeated.

I have been where those two are right now. I was maybe couple years older at the time, but not that different. Homeless, penniless, hungry, and without any hope or optimism for the future. Fortunately, I managed to claw my way out. It was hard work and very nearly broke me. But I did make it. And a lot of it was luck and the right circumstances. According to the odds, I should be dead right now.

I really hope those two manage to break out as I did. But I'm not holding my breath.

And it's a terrible thing indeed that I feel that way.

They're Laughing.. *With* You...

From the Khaleej Times:

European Union foreign policy chief Javier Solana spoke on Thursday of “progress” in his talks with Iran’s main negotiator on a way out of the crisis over Teheran’s nuclear programme.

The discussions had begun in a secluded guest house near Berlin the previous day. Iranian envoy Ali Larijani, who spent several hours talking to Solana on Thursday, said all the topics had been discussed and there had been “some positive outcomes.”

Yeah, this time they waited until after Solana left the room before laughing uproariously.

Terrorists? Who Needs 'Em?

We do a fine job by ourselves.

Yesterday, while discussing the new rules a fellow Flyertalker suggested we write "Kip Hawley is an Idiot" on the outside of our clear plastic quart bags. So I did just that.

Actually, that's pretty funny. It's funny because it's true.

He grabbed the baggie as it came out of the X-ray and asked if it was mine. After responding yes, he pointed at my comment and demanded to know "What is this supposed to mean?" "It could me[an] a lot of things, it happens to be an opinion on mine." "You can't write things like this" he said, "You mean my First Amendment right to freedom of speech doesn't apply here?" "Out there (pointing pass the id checkers) not while in here (pointing down) was his response."

This is where the TSA officer is wrong. Unless I completely misunderstand, I thought the TSA was serving as an "actor of the state". In that case the First Amendment surely does apply.